We offer Personality Development classes in Mumbai only, so this article would come in handy for those who are either outside Mumbai, or who don’t want to enroll for a professional course. Please apply any of the following tips which you feel are interesting or practical.
Increase your Self-Awareness and Emotional Intelligence
Self-Awareness: This is the starting point which is often forgotten. You need to understand what YOU are good at and not-so-good at. What am I doing well? What do I need to work on? What is my aim? What do I mean by “personality”? How do I want to see myself in the near future?
Start thinking about what you’re thinking! It’s called metacognition, and it works by paying attention to your thoughts… what you’re thinking, why you’re thinking that etc. Be more aware of your purpose or objective behind pursuing or doing something. This will help understand what career you want to choose, why you want more money, what’s stopping you from breaking-up from a relationship you’re stuck in, etc.
(To understand the areas of possible growth, read the “Groups” A to D mentioned on this site’s page for Personality Development Classes in Mumbai – the statements mentioned there will help you get an idea about what you could improve.)
Focus on your Emotional Intelligence: Emotional Intelligence (EI) is the ability to understand and manage your emotions, as well as understand and manage other people’s emotions. This pertains to being calm under pressure, thinking before reacting to something, managing anger, handling criticism, being empathetic towards others, etc.
Start by reading “Emotional Intelligence 2.0” by Bradberry.
Treat the inability to speak in front of people as an Emergency!
If you’re shy or under-confident when speaking in front of people, you MUST start considering this as an emergency! Start by speaking in front of a small group, maybe in front of friends of friends… or even yelling out answers or asking questions from the back of the classroom or in a work meeting. You may speak only a few words initially, and then gradually start speaking a few sentences at a stretch, as you get comfortable.
However, you must force yourself to take all opportunities possible to engage in speaking, especially if you’re unable to join public speaking classes. Instead of avoiding or escaping these opportunities, tell yourself “this is an emergency, I need to start small and make it big, or else I’ll regret it big time!”
Aim to Speak POWERFULLY
If you’re able to express yourself, I’m afraid that’s not enough in today’s world! Focus on increasing your benchmark to reach your potential… until you speak with Power.
Find the time to go over the conversations you had in the day or are going to have, and try rephrasing things until they sound more effective. “Effective” means that you’re clear and concise.
Watch TED talks and some of the commencement speeches on YouTube to notice how good orators speak.
Work on your non-verbal communication to speak powerfully: Working on your body language can be made easy if instead of just watching TV, you start STUDYING the characters! The way they move and how they speak confidently. Movies like Valkyrie, Chak De India, Jolly LLB, etc. are all good when you want to study effective use of gestures, expressions, and non-verbal communication. Apart from public speaking classes, theatre or drama classes are an excellent way of communicating more effectively as well as for building confidence.
What all successful people swear by: READING!
Usually people know quite a bit about at least one subject (e.g., the profession one’s in, or an academic subject one’s good at, or some sport one follows, etc.). However, you must read blogs on 2-3 subjects outside of your “core” subject. Find some other interesting topics from the field of technology, science, psychology, art, etc. (You do NOT need to worry about politics, current affairs, Economic Times, or “general knowledge” if that doesn’t interest you!)
Not giving a shit about “what will people think”!
This is probably the most useful personality development tip for most people who are consumed by what others think of them. Feeling too embarrassed to speak out of fear of being laughed at, saying something stupid, getting judged, offending people, losing friends, etc. Can you think of someone with a strong personality who is worried about what others might think of her? Stop giving a shit about what people (peers or parents or whoever) will say/think… as long as what you’re doing is working, or if that is what your role models or successful people do. Of course, this sometimes becomes difficult to decide, and that is why “self-awareness” trumps every other tip!
This also means that you may want to let go of the need to speak English when you’re not very comfortable speaking it. Switch to whatever language you’re comfortable in as long as the listeners understand. Never let the compulsion to speak in English affect your fluency/confidence, except when your profession forces you to. (Obviously, this doesn’t mean you don’t work hard on your English-speaking skills.)
Needless to say, there are several other things one can do, but these are the top 5 priorities in our personality development classes in Mumbai.